whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
