operation have a gay friend backfired
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
