everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
