the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How external is "for external use only"?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
