Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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