But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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