plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
