I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
