do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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