So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
