Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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