If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
two words: eviction party
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
