Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
