I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
