There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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