Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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