24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
