My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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