Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
