you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
