I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
