First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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