So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
