i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
