Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
