I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
