I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
