After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
