What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
