Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
