no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
