sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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