I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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