I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize