all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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