this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Two words: nipple clamps
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