He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
