I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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