Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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