I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
