What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
