i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
