It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Welp...herpes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
