She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
