Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
