i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
