His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
