But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
