hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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