he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize