so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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