You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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