Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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