I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He passed out mid-signature
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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