i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
